


Self-Fulfilled Prophecy

by kiyotakas



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Gen, It may be bad, M/M, Whips, also bc i say so, also kiyotaka is gay and autistic because i am and i wanna project on him, also. spoilers for all of dr1 if ur in the middle of it and looking up fics for some reason, but theyre boyfriends, if i write anymore dangan i s2g this’ll be the only canon thing, im in non despair denial hell, ishimondos only mentioned/implied in this, this is my first fic in a LONG while so, this was just a 300 word drabble in the beginning what the fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-21 14:34:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20695133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiyotakas/pseuds/kiyotakas
Summary: Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.You are young. You are innocent. You are untainted. You are care-free,Though that isn’t you.





	Self-Fulfilled Prophecy

**Author's Note:**

> ngjdhs this is like the first time i’ve written serious actual fic in years so like.😳
> 
> if u wanna yell about taka or ishimondo check out my tumblr - oowadas
> 
> (also oh no by marina and the diamonds is the perfect kiyotaka song, one of the lyrics is the title please listen to it if you haven’t its so good)

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

You are young. You are innocent. You are untainted. You are care-free,

Though that isn’t you.

Yes you are young, and you may be innocent. But your name is tainted. You never allow yourself relaxation.

Even as young as you are, you must work hard. Because,

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And because of that,

No one believes you will achieve anything.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you don’t seem to get any of the other kids. And they don’t seem to get you either.

You are responsible and well behaved. But...

You are...odd to them. You don’t act like them. You emote too strongly and you don’t get when people are joking around.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you don’t really seem to care for girls at all. You prefer friendships with boys. You don’t act...manly enough.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

You are not what is considered “normal”.

And that is dangerous.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And your grandfather hit you.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you learn that anything that’s not perfection must be punished, pushed aside, or hidden.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you know why all the other kids make fun of you.

You know what your grandfather did, you know that you do not fit in, you know what happened to your mother…

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you are grateful for your father being there.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And your father cleans your cuts and scrapes.

And holds you when you cry.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And your grandfather is dead.

Only family shows up, and through all the emotions and thoughts going through your head- you find that it makes sense.

Your grandfather was a genius. His success was effortless.

And so, he fell. Hard.

And he hurt so many people.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you find that you can’t stand the concept of geniuses.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru,

And you are older now.

Maybe not so much wiser, but more experienced.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you know what’s in store for you now.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you learn to hide certain things about you. Or you will be punished.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you join your middle school’s public morals committee.

You’ve always had this...sense of justice and morality. You’re always striving to make the world better, to let people see that they can be better.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you go to high school.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And one day you see a letter to you in the mail. You decide to wait for your father to come home, because you have no idea what it may be.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And your eyes scan the envelope.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And your eyes widen when you see the Hopes Peak Academy logo.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you are the Ultimate Moral Compass.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru,

And it’s your first day at Hope’s Peak.

You’re a bit early, but no one seems to mind. So, you push forward.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you take your first step inside of Hope’s Peak Academy. And, you admit that you take a moment to take it all in.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And although it was a rocky start, Hope’s Peak turned out to be exactly what you needed.

No one here scrutinizes you for being different. Or for your name.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you make friends. With your whole class, something you never thought would be possible.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you learn how to unwind with the help of your classmates- your friends. You learn how to just relax and have fun.

And you have him, you have Mondo.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you think this is the best you that you’ve ever been.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And the Kiyotaka you’ve become during Hope’s Peak may as well be dead. Because…

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru,

And it’s your first(?) day at Hope’s Peak.

You’re a bit early, but no one seems to mind. (As in, no one seems to be around. Odd as it may seem). So, you push forward.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you take your first(?) step inside of Hope’s Peak Academy. And...and…

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru,

And it seems as if you’ve passed out.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you think this is, by far, the oddest day of your life.

You wake up in a classroom, you follow the instructions to go to the main hall...though it looks a bit odd.

Little by little others, your classmates, start to show up.

Though you’re not sure you’re quite enthusiastic to meet a number of them.

Especially the Ultimate Biker(!!) Gang(!!!) Leader(!!!!). Though, the feeling may be mutual.

The last person shows up, and introductions come to a close.

Then, as if on cue, a monitor comes to life and an eerie voice informs students to gather in the gym.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru,

And for the first time in your life, you don’t follow the instructions right away.

You don’t quite know why, but you are frozen in your spot, along with many others.

Though nothing can be solved by just standing around…

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru…

And you are hesitant.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And...this can’t possibly be real.

You are told by a monochromatic robot bear that you must stay in the academy for the rest of your life. Or…

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you never even consider going so far as to murder one of the other ultimates around you just to get out of here.

Though you must admit, chills go down your spine and you shiver when this “Graduation Clause” is mentioned.

As mentioned before, you wouldn’t kill someone.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And though you would never kill,

The same doesn’t apply to the ones around you.

You take a chance and glance at the biker you saw before,

And find him staring right at you.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you don’t panic too much when the bear, Monokuma, announces a motive.

You don’t have much left that can be used against you, after all.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you were so very, very wrong.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you allow yourself to smile gently at the sight of your father wishing you luck at school.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you haven’t caught on just yet when the screen goes black.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And it feels as if your heart stops when you see your little apartment in ruins, your father nowhere to be seen.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And one of your classmates has just been murdered.

You haven’t heard of Sayaka Maizono before coming here, you haven’t heard any of her music, you shared no connection with her.

But somewhere deep within you,

It hurts.

(Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.)

(And believe it or not, Sayaka Maizono is one of the first friends you make at Hope’s Peak.)

(She doesn’t seem to mind your little quirks, and she doesn’t think you’re imperfect. She’s...nice.)

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you see what happens here when you don’t follow the rules.

Though you weren’t at all close to her, you can’t help but mourn Junko Enoshima.

(You mourn Mukuro Ikusaba.)

(Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.)

(And you’re not as close to her as others, but you have a mutual respect with Mukuro Ikusaba.)

(And you often see a side of her no one else really sees.)

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And if you and all the others don’t figure out who killed Maizono, you’ll all die. Just like she did.

You’re barely one for detective work, but you remember what your father showed and taught you.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And as always, you get to work.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you watch another classmate, Leon Kuwata, get pummeled to death with baseballs.

It’s so, so cruel and it makes you nauseous.

But that doesn’t explain the feeling…

(Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.)

(And as much trouble as he is, Leon Kuwata can be surprisingly helpful when he wants to be.)

(Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.)

(And you can’t help but grin when Leon messes up your hair and calls you “buddy”.)

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you are nearing your limit with that biker.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you truly think you are about to physically fight the Ultimate Biker Gang Leader.

That is, until Naegi walks in.

Then plans change.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And it might be a bit of a funny picture, him in a boiling sauna with Oowada. Fighting like petty children.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you actually talk to the man.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you are shocked when he cries on your behalf.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you find that you two have a lot more in common than you originally thought.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you become friends with Mondo Oowada.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you wish every child from your past could see you now.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru,

And you wish everyone can see that someone like you is able to be such close friends with someone such as Mondo Oowada.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And little do you know,

Everyone is watching. (At least, the ones still alive.)

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And your hands shake when you read the paper from Monokuma’s latest motive.

‘Kiyotaka was taught to hide the fact that he’s both autistic and gay, and has been hiding those facts since elementary school!’

The paper crumpled slightly. It was stupid of you to think that your secret would merely be about your grandfathers decline as Prime Minister.

He breathed in. And counted. And breathed out.

It was okay, maybe if everyone just revealed their secrets on their own then-

Nobody takes you up on that offer.

(You come to sincerely wish that they had.)

(But nobody remembers that you all shared these secrets with each other a year ago.)

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And yet another one of your classmates is dead.

Chihiro Fujisaki. You know you were more friendly with her than you were with say Maizono, Enoshima, or Kuwata.

And you know you should feel terrible about her death.

But it still doesn’t quite explain that deep, dark feeling.

(Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru)

(And Chihiro Fujisaki is your! second! ever! friend!! You and her also have a lot more in common than you would have ever thought.)

(You can’t help but smile when she smiles.)

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And for the life of you, you don’t know why they’re suddenly accusing Mondo.

As if he murdered Fujisaki.

He just couldn’t, there’s no way.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru,

And you are determined to prove Naegi wrong.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you think this is what dying feels like.

It’s not like you yourself are dying, but it’s pretty damn close. You can’t help but stare desperately at Mondo, your first friend, your first-, explaining what happened that night with Fujisaki.

You watch as Monokuma announces that its voting time, and you turn to stare at your podium.

You look at the names of your classmates light up on the screen, waiting to be selected.

Wait, names?

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru,

And you’ll be damned if you condemn Mondo to death.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru,

And you push the button next to your own name.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you’re dead silent when you realize your vote doesn’t really count.

Not when everyone else voted for him.

You find yourself begging for Monokuma to wait, to take me instead, to please just hold on. Because you can’t lose him just yet, not when you’ve just found him.

You find yourself not caring that you might look...unseemly to your classmates. There’s tears and other fluids running down your face, and you’re groveling at the side of Monokuma’s chair.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru,

And you’re so, so desperate.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And it feels like you’re dying.

You watch as he spins around in the cage, how it crackles with electricity.

And you scream, and scream, and scream, until you find that you can’t make the noise anymore.

So you cry.

You cry and you sob and you realize some part during this, this torture, that you’ve fallen onto your hands and knees.

Your body shakes as that god damn bear taunts you with the remains of him, turning it into some damn joke.

As if his death was all just a joke.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you’re angry.

But more than that, you’re absolutely destroyed.

(Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.)

(And despite everything, Mondo is your first friend at Hope’s Peak, and the both of you laugh at the shocked faces of everyone in the classroom.)

(Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.)

(And you’re best friends with Mondo Oowada.)

(Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.)

(And you think you may like him.)

(Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.)

(And you love Mondo Oowada.)

(Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.)

(And you and Mondo-)

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And you feel dead, hollow, empty,

You find yourself in despair.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru,

And you can’t find it in you to talk anymore. You don’t respond to anything, really. You’re just so tired, although you can’t even begin to imagine sleeping after what happened.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru,

And somewhere in you, you register the others dancing around you, as if they do anything wrong, you'll break. They talk as if that’s true.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And it might as well be.

Your name is...Kiyondo Ishida

And Kiyotaka Ishimaru is dead. In a sense.

You don’t want to be Kiyotaka Ishimaru anymore.  
You don’t want to be just Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

You want to be more.

You want to be alive,

Be alive with him.

Because you couldn’t fathom a world without him, so much so that you threw away your old personality. You are not Kiyotaka. You are not just Kiyotaka. You are also Mondo.

Right?

Your name is Kiyondo Ishida(?)

And no one seems to approach you anymore. Out of pity or fear, you don’t know.

But it hurts all the same.

Your name...doesn’t matter now.

As you head to the storage room in the physics lab, eager to get out of this hell.

(Really, deep down, you know this is a trap. You know you’ll be killed. But really, you can’t find it in yourself to care anymore.)

(Deeper down you think, it’s better than having to do it yourself.)

Your name is Kiyondo...Kiyotaka Ishimaru

And this time, you really are dying.

Your head is splitting, you can barely move your body and blood is pouring over your eye.

Your vision is hazy and your memories seem fuzzy.

But you still don’t know why Yamada would kill you. Why anyone here would kill anyone.

They were all friends once.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And for a split second,

You remember.

Your name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

You realize that now you truly are dead.

You only see white.

But then an oh-so-familiar hand reaches out.

And you take it.

Your name was Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

And your story is far from over. It can’t end just now.

Perhaps in a twisted sort of way,

It has just begun.

**Author's Note:**

> 😳
> 
> (1/31/20) EDIT: thank you to everyone who enjoyed this fic!! i haven’t stopped writing dangan, in fact i’m in the middle of another. really REALLY big taka angst fest so be on the look out for that in the future!


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